that'show my doctor described it. I told her i felt like shit and felt like i've been written off since the BPD diagnosis. She just tried to assure me that wasn't the case. I forgot to ask her bout CMHT and if i'm getting a CPN or social worker. I didn't reallyu gte chance to say. She aske dme if i'll be safe with meds, the easy answer is yes, for the most part. I have no money so need to wait till the bf gets back from work before he can come with me to pick up my meds.
Signed off for another month. Not that i guess it matters seeing as i don't think i have a job anymore.
I'm sick of having no money. I'm sick of having to rely on my bf to support me. I just feel like i shouldn't be here of i can't afford to live. My life is a fucking mess. Excuse the langauge but that's how i feel right now.
I think the doctor got the impression i'm only like this cos my dosage has been halved, its normal apparently. No-one tells you this though. When you first need anti-depressents no-one tells you how much you will end up relying on them just to function. No-one tells you how terrible you'll feel if you have to stop or withdraw from them. No-one tells you the side effects include thoughts of self harm and suicide.
I don't know how much more i can really take. Maybe these new meds will work, but its still going to be a few weeks before they even kick in. In the meantime i need to find the motivation to pack up my life and clean my house, again, for the 5th time. I just don't feel like doing other than curling up in a ball and crying whilst i hope these feelings pass.
No-one from the law center has called me back. So looks like i'm going into tomorrow's meeting unprepared. Don't know if i should threatne legal action or not. I just want what i'm entitled to, my sick pay. And if thety are letting me go then full pay and my holiday pay. I need something to pay my rent ffs.
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