Just Cast Me Aside

The more i've thought about this BPD diagnosis, the more i've come to the conclusion it's a label that they throw at people far too easily.

Oh she self harms, she must have BPD.
Oh she feels down, she must have BPD
Oh she engages in risky behaviou, she must have BPD.

Did i mention its also apprently not severe? So despite the fact i nearly died, and have been self harming more than ever,the fact that i can't work.. it's ok...my condition isn't severe?

Bullshit.

I've heard many people say BPD is the diagnosis they throw at you when they don't know what's wrong with you.

I need to be monitored closely. Which is why my next appoinment with the Psych is in 3 MONTHS. Yes that's right, 3 months. I dread to think how long ti would be were i not being "monitored closely".

Had my second counselling session today. Well i say session, to be fair it was more duscussing the fact i was pissed of with yesterdays diagnosis and the fact i need referring to her collegue for high intensity CBT. Which once agin will most likely take MONTHS.

I'm going to ask my Dr. to refer me to the community mental health team and a social worker. I need more help than i'm getting.

So overall i'm feeling really frustrated, and pretty down. Not good.

Anyway i need to try to sleep

Night.

Counselling 101

This is my...4th attempt at counselling.

It took a month for the freferal via my GP to go through and yesterday was the first session.

I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting it to be that great.

But I'm pleased to say, it was actually better than expected. The Counseller (from now on referred to as C) was friendly, and professional. She explained everything to me and really put me at ease. I told her all about my history and she told me what to expect from the counselling services.

She thinks her colleague is better placed to treat me as a)she specialises in CBT, b)she has hourly sessions, c)said sessions are weekly and d)they go on for longer.

It all depends however on what happens on Monday.

because Monday is D-Day. Or should that be P-Day? I'm off to see the Psychiarist from now on referred to as P). The C doesn't think that the P will take me on, as those services are for "more severe" cases. that said the fact I hear voices (though i'd describe it more as hearing thoughts) may in fact make me the ideal candidate.

We will just have to wait and see.

But for now, I'm impressed that the counseeling went well.