But i don't know what to do about it.
To think, this was partly triggered by me trying to (finally) fill in those forms i've been putting off fo so long. I just can't do it. I've tried, i have tried so fucking hard to do it but i just keep breaking down in tears.
It dawned on me today, that i'm a failure. I came to uni, got a worthless degree and now i'm jobless and haven't got a chance in hell of getting another job/getting the help i feel i need.
I might as well just end it.
I can only descibe this feeling as literally being overwhelmed by sadness and by thoughts.
Spekaing of thoughts, Bad me is putting them in my head again. The usual bollocks. She wants me to die. She wants me to hurt myself. The scary thing is i'm finding myself agreeing with her. How much longer can i fight these thoughts, and feelings? I'm sick of fighting. I was never a fighter, always more of a pacifist.
-Will finish this post soon-
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